Monday, February 13, 2012

That Has How Many Grams of Saturated Fat???

Would you believe that a cinnamon muffin has 9 grams of saturated fat?
And that isn't even all the fat ...
Yes, it has unsaturated fat too!

And that bowl of mac and cheese?
Would you believe it has 6 grams of saturated fat...
and I don't even think the cheese is real...
I mean what kind of cow do you get powdered cheese from anyway?

As you may have guessed by now I have been reading the food labels.
I will admit to not knowing what a lot of that crap is...
but I am reading them and have chosen a few things to really start paying attention to...

Things like the saturated fat content.
The carbohydrate content.
and the sugar content.

Saturated fat is the biggie since that is the one that I can say directly affects whether or not I will be able to leave the house at anytime, ever...

The carbs and the sugar...
well I have been watching them because they too are fat.
They just go by another name, like an alias.

"Would not carbs and sugar by any other name still leave you with love handles and cellulite"
That is the real question...
And the answer is, " Why, yes, yes they would!"

Because they are what is called ... 
...dun dun dun.. 
HIDDEN FAT


All those foods like licorice and chocolate syrup and fat-free cookies....
They are NOT fat free because they have exorbitant amounts of carbs or sugar or, in all the tasty treats at least, both.
And what happens to those carbs and sugar if you eat them and then proceed to NOT run on the treadmill for an hour or roller blade around the block 20 times...hmmmm?

All those carbs and sugars have to go somewhere and since they are supposed to be converted into simple forms for use as energy but the energy doesn't get used or there is too much to possibly have a need for...

It, like any excess energy, gets stored, like the extra energy being produced by the acreage of solar panels on the house around the corner...
 there is more square footage of solar panels on that roof than there is in the whole dang house... and only like 3 people live there and I mean really, how much energy could they possibly use to warrant all that solar panel space... you know they have got to be supplementing their income with the extra energy they are selling back to the power grid...
But I digress... but only because I have solar panel envy....and I really wish I could get rid of that GINORMOUS electric bill every month... and having the power company pay me sounds like a dream come true...
As I was saying, the excess energy-making-carbs and sugar are converted into a simple form for storage and that form is...
No, not solar energy, but wouldn't that be nice?
It is FAT...
That's right.
Carbs and Sugar are indeed just another name for FAT.

The fat is disguised as carbs and sugar and unfortunately when they lose their disguise they come out as cellulite and love handles and a jiggly butt... and not the good kind of Baby Got Back ...
If ya know what I mean...

So, the lesson learned this week is to:
1) read the labels on the food;
and 2) watch out for those undercover sabotage agents...
Formerly known as Carbohydrates and Sugar...

Because, yes, they ARE out to get you...
or at least the rear-end part of you.