Mexican Chicken... Yummy

And Healthy...
But don't tell the children!

I was combing through the cupboards in an attempt to find something that the kids would eat that was easy, quick and somewhat nutritious...

because I do want TheBusyFamily to live long, healthy and productive lives and hope that some of what they are learning here in TheBusyFamilyHome will follow them when they finally leave...

They will all leave, eventually, right?

Chicken Mexican 

1 lb frozen grilled chicken strips  or raw chicken cut into bite size pieces
1 can diced tomatoes
1 can tomatoes and green chiles or a can of tomatoes, okra and corn...
1 can black beans - rinsed and drained
2 tablespoons taco seasoning
2 tablespoons chia seeds
olive oil
shredded cheddar cheese
plain greek yogurt
cherry tomatoes
tortilla chips of your choice

heat olive oil in a pot then add chicken and taco seasoning. Once chicken has browned add all the canned goods and the chia seeds...
bring to a boil, then reduce heat and let simmer until sauce thickens- about 10 minutes or so




While the chicken is simmering place a handful of chips in the bottom of 4 bowls...

Once the sauce has thickened up spoon the chicken mixture over the chips...

add shredded cheddar , yogurt and cherry tomatoes and ENJOY!      

 I substitute fresh cherry tomatoes- whole into the pot they go- for the canned diced tomatoes when I have enough on hand...
I also use frozen corn and low sodium salsa in place of canned tomatoes and corn when I can to make it a little healthier...

The beauty of this recipe is that I can add or substitute all kinds of things depending on what is actually in the fridge or pantry when I start making dinner...

Because we all know that what I thought was in there when I started out never really is!

A New Year... AND Another Birthday!

Yeppers!

My birthday is in 3 days...

And this is shaping up to be THE WORST ONE EVER....

Okay...

I can let it be the horrible year or...

I can turn my health woes around and...

make this THE BEST YEAR EVER!

I choose to make it THE BEST.

As some of you may know...
Eleven months ago I tore my rotator cuff at work.
MISERABLE is what the last 11 months have been.
And, unfortunately, the shoulder is not yet healed enough to return to normal activities.

BUT WAIT.... There's More....

I threw my back out just after Christmas and it turns out that I have...
wait for it...
multiple herniated and evulsed discs in my lumber spine...
and am waiting for the insurance to allow me to get the MRI of the neck and upper spine ...
probably so I can find out my spinal column is ridiculously out of whack...

And then...
I was diagnosed with MRSA.
This is a Staph infection that is resistant to antibiotics in the Penicillin family...
probably a post-op infection , but...
The nurse liaison at worker's comp said I could have gotten it in line at the grocery store...
"it's every where these days"...
Sure. That's exactly where I got it.... (can you hear the sarcasm dripping from my words?)

So, as you can imagine, these health issues hitting me at once just as we are about to embark on the adventure that is 2015...
well, I admit to being a little depressed and my self-esteem took a serious hit.

Luckily for me, the antibiotic seems to be working...
MRSA on the way out!

The spine doc had a cancellation so I got seen yesterday...
a whole week early...
and I have to lose weight (well, duh!)...
and get moving to get my core strength back...
and I am allowed to start exercising again...
YAY!!!!

I also started a new medicine for the back pain that is supposed to not be as caustic to my very sensitive stomach... so far it seems to be okay and the pain is bearable...
Another YAY!

Today I walked 3 miles.
How did I do this with 3 inches of snow and ice on the ground?

I used the Leslie Sansone Walk Away the Pounds video.

This is easily tailored to any fitness level and really easy to do.
You just walk!
Okay, some arm movements and some side steps and leg lifts are thrown in there too...
But, seriously, just about anyone can do this.
And she makes you feel like you can, even when you're out of breath and sweating like crazy...

And I wore my new walking shoes...
Sketchers EZ-Flex Intensify in PINK...
Yes, I actually bought PINK shoes on purpose...
I figure they will help perk me up even when I am feeling blue...




And then I got out my Bullet...
it's one of the original ones from about 20 years ago so it's called The Bullet instead of the NutriBullet...
and the mugs and jars are smaller than the new one...
which makes no sense since serving sizes are important when watching your calories and eating healthy so why have 18oz cups when the 12 oz ones are perfect for a single serving breakfast smoothie?
Hey, if they want to send me a NutriBullet for free so I can give a real review...
I'm all in...
until then, my Original Bullet will be just fine.

Today's weight is... 218...
almost what I weighed the day I gave birth to SIX...
UGH!

Join me on my NEW YEAR NEW ME JOURNEY into 2015...
Getting healthy, inside and out...
with the approval of my doc...
which you should make sure you get before starting any exercise or diet program please...

To start you out right here is my breakfast smoothie recipe:

1/2 cup kale/spinach mix  (or one or the other is fine too)
3 whole strawberries with greens on
a handful of blackberries
2-3 tbs greek yogurt - plain or vanilla works
2 tbs Chia seeds
1/2 cup of almond or soy or low-fat milk
 OR
a splash of fruit juice- I like V8 fruit punch or Pomegranate Blueberry

Blend until thick and smoothe and YUM!

I buy fresh strawberries and freeze them whole with the stems on to make the smoothie thicker and colder, but you can use whatever is handy for you.

Blueberries or raspberries can be swapped out for the blackberries...

Basically, get whatever looks good in you grocer's produce section.

Add 1/2 a banana and a scoop of protein powder for an after work-out booster shake...

There you go...
a healthy and tasty way to start your day...

You Are Welcome!

Update... Post Torn Rotator Cuff...or Something Like That

Today is June 29th.

Today is the last day of high school for my 4th child, TeenBoy.

It has been a long time coming...
13 1/2 years, since the first day of kindergarten, to be exact.

And I am very sad to report that today...

I weigh more than I did the day he was born 18 1/2 years ago.

I weigh more than I did when child number 5, BratChild,  was born 17 years ago.

I weigh almost what I did the day I gave birth to SIX 15 1/2 years ago.

Just how much do I weigh today, right now, this very minute????

Let's just say that I have to lose  more than 10 pounds to be at 200.

A year ago I was holding steady between 190 and 195.
Working nights and not spending as much time running in the pool last summer had my weight creeping into the 200-zone by September.

The abnormally cold and snowy/icy/yucky winter saw me sitting around 205 by February...

And then disaster struck.

I injured my arm and tore the rotator cuff.

Did you know that you cannot walk on a treadmill without tipping over or being  in excruciating pain with a torn rotator cuff?

Neither did I.

And sleeping is best done sitting up on the sofa with pillows to prop the affected limb and keep it from moving during the night.

And doing any sort of aerobics is out of the question...

just swinging the bad arm to maintain balance is painful...
and then the neck and upper back/shoulder blade pain and limited mobility...

Well, suffice it to say, it sucks.

Steroid therapy added weight in days.
A cortisone injection a few  weeks later probably did not help.
Two months of  "let's see if therapy helps..."
It. Did. Not.

So, surgery was done  in April.
I spent 2 weeks with the arm in a sling and not doing anything to undo the repair.
And then Physical Therapy began.

And let me just say that I HAD NO PAIN AFTER SURGERY!!!!

None. Nada. Nyet.

And then...
4 weeks and a day into my, ahead of schedule,  rehab...

Pain, and the inability to move my arm in any direction, hit.

PT was stopped and another cortisone injection was done.

Apparently, bursitis had developed...
which happens in 50% of post-surgical patients with my type of injury...
according to the surgeon...

Yeah Me!
Not.

So, back to PT after 2 weeks of rest and...
I  am still in excruciating pain.
I am still unable to use my arm normally.
I am resolved to get in shape regardless.

The weather has broken and finally I can get in my pool.
I can run in the pool because...
Water supports my bad arm while I run and allows me to move it gently through the water without too much pain.

Yesterday I ran for an hour and a half before going to PT.
My arm hurts like heck since PT...
but after 2 weeks without it I expected nothing less.

So, I am starting from square one...
I am still sleeping sitting up on the sofa...
3 1/2 months into this and the words of a co-worker come to mind...
"the healing...it is a process"

Yes.
Yes. It. Is.

Coffee...It's Not Just For Breakfast Anymore

Watching Kelly and Mike on TV this morning I heard them mention coffee consumption.

So, of course, I perked right up because...

I drink coffee....A Lot Of Coffee!

According to some statistics they had, the coffee consumption in the U.S. per person has gone down by more than half what it was right after World War II.

But!
The amount of caffeine consumed per person annually has risen by nearly double that of World War II.

What?

So...in my caffeine induced sense of clarity I thought to myself...

Wow! How did they get more caffeine in the coffee?

And then I realized that it's not just from coffee because...
SODAs have tons of caffeine...
And ENERGY DRINKS have tons of caffeine...
And WEIGHT LOSS SUPPLEMENTS have tons of caffeine...
And HEADACHE  MEDS have tons of caffeine...

Dr. OZ says that cutting out coffee and drinking Green Tea instead....thereby cutting out or greatly reducing caffeine consumption...will help to shrink fat cells.

But maybe it's not really the coffee that is the problem?
Cutting out all those other things makes sense too...
Right?

So if I cut out soda and energy drinks and weight loss supplements and headache meds...
I can keep drinking my coffee, right?

Great!

Too bad I don't use any of those other things, isn't it.
So...I am reducing my coffee  intake to 1/2 a pot...
and those who know me know that I drink a whole pot before HeMan Hubby even gets out of bed!

To help meet this goal I have found a few tricks that seem to work...
and I'll share because they may  help you too.
( and I'm nice like that)

1)   Only make 1/2 a pot or use single-cup servings to reduce the temptation to keep topping off your cup

2)   Use a smaller cup...wean yourself down if needed...I had to and here's how I did it:
my normal 52 oz jug was replaced with the 32 oz super-sized mug...
which was then replaced by a giant 20 oz mug...
which was then replaced by a big 14 oz mug...
which has now been replaced with a regular sized 10 oz mug

3)   Stick to your guns! If you are only having 1/2 a pot figure out how many refills in your size mug that is and
ONLY HAVE THAT MANY CUPS OF COFFEE!
- down-sizing your mug  helps...
 because I can have 3 cups of coffee in the smaller mug instead of 1 or 1 1/2 cups in the bigger mugs...
 and it's still just 1/2 a pot--it just tricks me into thinking it's more!

4)   REPLACE COFFEE WITH WATER!!!
For every cup of coffee you drink- drink 2 cups of water.
Coffee is a diuretic.
It makes you get rid of water...
but not just the excess making you weight 3 pounds more than you did yesterday...
but all water, even the water your body needs to function properly...
And this can lead to severe dehydration..
.which makes you retain water and the vicious cycle continues!

5)   Don't drink coffee past early afternoon. 
Caffeine does affect your ability to sleep Restfully!
Not enough sleep or poor quality sleep makes it harder to lose weight...
and that adds to your stress and that leads to stress eating and that leads to...
Well you know what that leads to.

Now that I have cut back my caffeine intake...
per Dr. OZ's 2 Week  Rapid Weight Loss Plan...

I just have to work on cutting out wheat, white sugar, alcohol, dairy, and eating between 8pm and 8am...

Yeah...I'll let you know how that works out...

Not Getting Any Thinner... Maybe I Should Do Something About It?

Like I don't know I'm a bit over weight.
Thanks Doctor's office paper work that spells it out...

BMI-33
Morbidly Obese

Again, Thanks!

Okay, this time I really mean it.

That 15 pounds I have gained since September has been bothering me.
And I have intended to do something about it.

Once I wasn't  so tired all the time.
Once I had better weather to go walking in.
Once...oh, who am I kidding.
Just like planning the perfect time to have a kid--- you can NEVER afford them on paper  no matter how much money you  make!
There is never the perfect time to start a diet and fitness routine.
There's always something that will deter you...

IF YOU LET IT!

So I am not going to let the snow or the ice or the ankle deep water from the glacial melt deter me...
Or the steroids I was put on this week for my shoulder injury...

Okay...that might be a deterrent...
Cuz steroids are hell on everyone's weight...

But No!
I will lose weight in spite of a week of steroid therapy...

I WILL!

I will let you know how this works out...

And the winner is... ????

Let's Get Started... or at least start to get started

When ONE wishes to lose weight ...
ONE must actually DO something to make the weight go away...

Okay...
sounds simple, right?

Well, you would be WRONG!

In order to lose weight ONE must first have the proper accoutrements in which to aid ONE's path to a thinner ONE...
In this case feel free to substitute ME or YOU or GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT for the word ONE at any time...

To get started on the road to losing weight ONE must first decide upon the road on which they plan to travel...

IE: find a gym and procure a membership... or...
purchase home gym equipment like a treadmill or stair climber...
(although you can walk up and down your own stairs for free anytime you want... unless you live in a rancher or ground floor apartment... okay I see why someone may need a stair stepper thingy)...

find a workout buddy...
shouldn't be too hard, I mean everyone is trying to get fit these days...
it just has to be someone who lives in the same area as you, has the same work schedule as you, can get the same free-time away from the family as you AND wants to work out when and how you do...
like I said- Piece of cake... or pie, if you prefer...

find some workout clothes that fit in a way that allows for free movement and air flow to important parts...
like your lungs...
while not making you look like you have either:
1) borrowed clothes from the homeless Sasquatch in yonder woods;
or 2) have painted on your clothes so that every dimple of cellulite is visible in all it's jiggly glory and your muffin tops have actually become full-on muffins-- the giant ones you get at the bakery...

find a diet that you can stick to...
because it tastes good and is easy to fit into your hectic life would be ideal...
but probably because you actually do lose some weight...
which is probably because it tastes like sawdust or dried grass and is easy to grab and go...

And last but by no means least...
ONE must decide why it is that ONE wishes to lose weight in the first place.

This sounds like a no-brainer, I know, but really, it's not.
ONE must figure out why they want to lose weight ....
and be truthful to oneself in the process or NOTHING WILL WORK!

Losing weight because someone else wants you to...
because you want to fit into a special outfit for a special event...
because everyone else in the family is skinnier than you...
These are all real nice...
but they do not have staying power as motivation when the carrot cake is calling your name!

And believe me...
that carrot cake and his friends red velvet and chocolate brownie will be ready and willing to pick up the slack when your will power ebs...

So, let's start to get started losing weight by...
Identifying the reasons why you want to, need to, hope to, wish to...
Lose 10 or 20 or 30 pounds or more...
and be honest...
because you'll only be fooling yourself...

And really, do you want to make yourself look like a fool...
and a Fat Fool at that?

Yeah, me neither...

You Are What You Eat...

I guess that makes me a Spring Mix salad with low-fat small curd cottage cheese and Poppy Seed dressing...

Or a soft pretzel...
Or a handful of dried fruit...
Or a bowl of low-fat chicken soup...
Or fresh strawberries and fat free yogurt...

Yeah, I am not getting much of a variety in my diet these days.

But, it is true that you are what you eat.

I mean, what else would you be?
All your vitamins and minerals and nutrients come from your food...
right?

Wrong!
You get a lot of that stuff from your water too...

So the saying should really be...
You Are What You Eat AND Drink!

But then there are the little things that you breathe in like...
residue from acid rain and toxic fumes from car exhausts and factories...

So the saying should be...
You Are What You Eat and Drink AND Breathe !

And then there are the things that you absorb through your skin...
chemicals and toxins that leach into your system from contact without even knowing...
ingredients in soap and lotions and cheap crayons like formaldehyde and lye and lead...

So the saying should be...
You Are What You Eat and Drink and Breathe and PUT ON YOUR SKIN!

I am a Spring Mix Salad with low fat small curd cottage cheese and poppy seed dressing.
I am Mango-Peach Green Tea.
I am fresh strawberries and fat free yogurt.

I am going to have to REALLY read the labels on everything that I put IN or anywhere NEAR my body from now on...

I'm thinking that perhaps having a limited diet isn't such a bad thing after all?

Losing weight is... say what?

Losing weight is...

Easy...
Fun...
Exciting...

Or not.


But it could be, right?

Okay, maybe it's not really easy, but maybe it should be.
Maybe it isn't the losing weight that is hard, but the idea of losing weight that is hard to wrap your head around.
The thought of having to make time to exercise...
to have to cut out all the good foods that you love...
to have to pay attention to not just what you eat but how much and when...
But what if you could just eat what you wanted, when you wanted and not have to worry about it?

Would losing weight be easier?
Probably not.

But not because it wouldn't work...
but because if losing weight was that easy then where would the sense of accomplishment when you reach your goal weight come from?

And what about fun?
Unless you enjoy exercising, getting sweaty, feeling like your arms and legs are made of rubber...
it's probably not exactly going to be fun.
Actually, it's a whole lot like work...
but in a good way, a way that when you get to the end you have something that you can be proud of...

A thinner, healthier, sexier YOU!

And exciting... most dcefinitely not!

But isn't is exciting to see the changes you are making every time you look in the mirror?
Isn't it exciting to see the new you that is slowly emerging, like a butterfly from a cocoon in Spring?
Isn't being able to finally, finally! walk into any store and know that you can try on anything on the rack because... well, they have everything in your size!

And mostly, isn't it exciting to know that you have done something for yourself that you can be proud of, that your family can be proud of and that will

I Am Failing... Miserably!

Yes, that is the truth.
I have fallen off the healthy living band wagon...

I have not been active.
I have not been eating the right foods.
I have not cared enough to care that I don't care.

I have fallen into the trap of the depression that accompanies the change of seasons.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Summer!
I Love, love, love Fall.

I know, I am a season snob.

Summer gets more of my attention.
Summer is the season that I just cannot resist.

And yet, Fall truly is the season that I think of as my favorite.

Weird, huh?

Summer is when I am most active. Spending all of my time out of doors, in the pool, walking and running and swimming and eating farm fresh locally grown produce....
and then...
it just stops.

All of it.

The cold makes me hurt everywhere in a way that I cannot even begin to describe.
My hands become stiff.
My joints ache.
My knees and hips pop with every step.

I feel my age plus 50!

And so my weight has crept up and up and up until...

I am where I was at the start of the summer.
I have to start all over again.
This is a ride that I desperately want to get off of...
that I want to stop altogether...

So today I will go out and run errands.
Have lunch with a friend.
Spend time enjoying the sights and sounds of Fall in all her glory...

And take that first step to getting back on that proverbial wagon...
and try not to fall off again!

I think the World is Against me... or maybe it's just the scales

Yes, you read me correctly.
I think that the scales of the world are out to get me.
Or rather, out to not let me lose weight.

Semantics.

I walk.
I jog (okay I tried it one day and made it about 1 mile... sort of).
I do water aerobics...

In my backyard pool...

Where no one can see me if  I look like a beached whale...

Or a harbor seal fighting for it's life...

I eat right.
I exercise.
I drink tons of water and then I drink some more!

And yet, and still...

The scale will not move below 209.

It hates me.
And believe me...
The Feeling is quite mutual!

What Price Skinny?

Bulimia.                      (ewwwww)
Anorexia..                   (btdt)
Diet pills.                (too jumpy)
The liquid diet.            (ick)
The fat flushing diet. (too bad it comes right back)
The Cabbage diet.       (skinny but friendless?)
The Fish diet.    (skinny and a brainiac... not likely)
Thermogenics              (getting warmer)
Slim-fast.                     (getting hungrier)
HCG...  Say what?                                                                      

Seriously? 
Human Chorionic Growth Hormone...


HCG is now a weight loss product.




I mean it's a real one
.
Even Dr. Oz talked about it on his show.
He said it worked. 
He had no idea how or why, just that it had.


What is HCG? 
A hormone that is produced by pregnancy so the baby will grow. 


Who knew that un-pregnant people would lose weight if they took it? 
Who thought to try it?
On second thought, how do you get this hormone if you are not pregnant, or like, a boy?


Sometimes the leaps that scientific minds make to come up with solutions to the world's ills baffle and confuse me. 


And sometimes, I think that I'm better off just ignoring the world around me and moving to the beat of my very own drum, by myself, without any pregnant hormones to help me lose the weight...


What price is too much to pay for skinny-ness?


Anything that requires needles or patches or horse-pills, dehydrated foods or all liquid diets, prepackaged food that tastes like cardboard and costs as much as 2 weeks of family groceries...


Running, swimming, eating fresh fruits and vegetables, drinking a gallon of water a day... 


They may not be fancy.
They are not expensive.
They certainly aren't glamorous.
But they sure do work.... 


when I actually get around to doing them that is! 

A New Outlook on Life... or Not

As I struggle to lose weight...
An on-going, often up-hill battle...
or so it too often seems...

I look at myself in the full-length mirror I had HeMan Hubby install behind our bedroom door way back in January when I decided to start the Sensa weightloss program and to get serious about this extra tonage I am lugging along with me everyday.

Sometimes I am not sure I know who that person in the mirror is.
Sometimes I see a stranger looking out at me from that other-parallel world beyond the glass.
Sometimes I catch a glimpse of the girl I used to be...
funny, self-assured, in-control of her life...

And sometimes I remember that that is not the girl I used to be, but rather the woman that I have become...
Am becoming.

When I get on scale I try to celebrate my losses...
To not be discouraged by my gains...
Because in weight-loss
As in life...

Without the failures we will not learn
And if we fail to learn
We fail to grow
And when we fail to grow
We stagnate...
in our minds, in our souls, in every aspect of our lives.

So I will take the highs and the lows of this weight loss roller coaster
I will make every endeavor to ride it out
To reach my final destination
A thinner, trimmer, more ME me...
On the outside...
But more importantly...
On the Inside.

Putting on Pants... UGH!

I know.
Putting on pants is an everyday occurrence. Or at least it should be.
For some of us this is easier said than done many days.

Today I put on a pair of shorts that I thought would fit well.
Apparently I was wrong.

Oh, they did fit...
once I laid on the bed and held my breath that is.

I have been making such strides in my journey to a thinner me...
or so I had thought.

It seems that I have gained back the 5 pounds lost last week.
Maybe if I just drink a gallon of water every day and stop eating all together I will lose it for good?

But then, that is not a realistic weight loss plan now is it?

So, instead I will drink my 100 ounces of water every day.
I will eat fresh fruits everyday. I have strawberries and blueberries this week- Woo Hoo!
I will keep my portions small.
I will not snack late at night.
I will not eat junk food... much... okay at all.

I have decided that I will not renew my Sensa plan once I finish with June's supply. In the 5 months I have been using it I have lost about 8 forever pounds and another 3-5 that flucuate weekly so...

For me I do not beleive the Sensa is working anymore. It was great at first, but after the 3rd month there has not been much in the permanent results department.

I admit, I do not sprinkle everything I eat, but I only miss a meal or 2 a week so that really should not make a difference in the grand scheme of things.
I am more active and am making the very conscious effort to remember that :
1- I do not live to eat and
2- I eat to live and
3- my goal is to lose 10 pounds... and then 10 pounds... and then 10 pounds... until I have achieved my ultimate goal...

These are the things that I will do to stay on track. I have 10 pounds to lose. When I lose those 10 pounds I will be under 200. That is the only goal I have at the moment. To weigh less than 200 pounds.

I was there 5 years ago. I was there for 3 years. I can be there again...

Until I get there I will continue to Color Me Thin with a giant ORANGE crayon and imagine that THAT is what I look like to everyone else...

Not just to myself in my dreams.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men... well, you know

DISCLAIMER: This Post Is Long. Do Not read any further if you do not want to get ensnared in the musings of a slightly depressed woman who is finding the truths behind her weight loss... or lack thereof... more painful than she could have imagined!

Click here for the soundtrack of my life

My intentions upon starting this blog, indeed, this journey thru the waist-land of weight loss were honest and pure.

So. What happened?

I got sick. Really sick.

I got tired. Really tired.

I got bogged down with emotional stuff. Really bogged down.

I let excuses get in my way.

That's it.

Full culpability here.

I am responsible for my actions, or inactions as it were.

I am why I cannot get below 208 pounds.

I was there last week.

I was there last month.

I was there in Freaking FEBRUARY!

I could be below 200 now.

I should be below 190 now.

I realized that I sabotaged myself... again.

I had a dream. It left me sobbing in my sleep. It left me feeling alone and unwanted. It left me feeling such a sense of loss that I awoke sobbing into my pillow and I could not stop.

I think that I sabotage my weight loss because I am not worthy.

I have done things. I have thought things. I am not worth the time it takes to pick up a phone of drop bu for a cup of coffee.

No. Really. I believe I am not... and that makes it true.

My best friend growing up moved away 7 years ago. I have seen her twice and spoken to her on the phone less than once a year. Each visit and nearly every phone call has been initiated by me. I found out last year that she has been back to our area several times in the past few years but not once did she call or stop by, not once. I drove 3 hours out of my way to spend and afternoon with her and she could not go 10 minutes out of hers.

I had a friend when I was married before. She and I worked together. We had children the same year. We were very much alike and did alot together. Then I got divorced. She had twins. I had 3 kids in 3 years. I called and kept in touch. I took my babies to have play dates with her babies. When her husband had cancer I called, I stopped by, I rallied round to keep his spirits up. He was cured. I haven't had a phone call from my friend since.

There was a guy in high school who I liked a lot. He was my friend even after his family moved away. He once came to visit me unexpectecly. I was on my way out the door on a date but I took the time to spend with him because he came all that way just to see me. He made me feel important. He made me feel like I was worth his time. His mother and I actually exchanged Christmas cards and family updates for many years after we had both gotten married and gone our separate ways.That was the last time I saw him, just before our high school graduations and his leaving for college. I cherish that visit more than he will ever know.

That is the last time I have felt that way. Not that I walk around feeling dejected and rejected all the time...

I think I have this place inside me where my true self hides. It only comes out very rarely. Like in my dream on Sunday. The rest of the time it is hidden behind the VeryBusyMom facade.

I think I need to let that part of me out more.
But mainly I think I need to make some friends. Oh, I know lots of people, but no one stops by for a cup of coffee. No one calls to invite me for a girls night out. No one wants to go walking with me.

I realized all this Sunday as I stood sobbing uncontrollably in the shower... wanting to talk to someone about it... and realized there was no one for me to call.

So. I sabotage myself. In many ways. All of them subconsciously. Or at least they were up til now!

I need to work on myself.
So. Starting right now I am going to work harder at letting the hidden parts of me come out, to acknowledge the hurt and the pain and the STUFF that I have buried deep inside.

But that will have to wait until tomorrow...

Afterall, Tomorrow is another day.

Wednesday's Weigh-In.... NOT

Yes, this is a weigh-in...
From yesterday, which was Wednesday.

But I am not really gong to pay attention to this weight this week for several reasons.

First- I am not making excuses, this is all true.

Now-

1-   I am retaining fluid from the cold and cough meds...
      and because I have only been drinking 2-3 quarts of water or crystal light a day.

2-   I ran out of the Green tea peach mango crystal light - the metabolism booster one?
      And I really do notice a difference from drinking that one all day versus drinking the peach tea or the
      raspberry lemonade.

3-   I am hungry since running out of the green tea which is unusual since I don't really get hungry...
      well I do but not often.

4-   I have been eating my emotions again... I try not to but...
      if you had my family for just a day you would understand... really, you would!
     TheBusyFamily is not always TheGoodFamily...
      which if you ever read my other blog you would know by now.

So, there you have it.
The reasons why I am not going to beat myself up about this week's weight...
Oh yeah, which is 213 btw.

Since I am not beating myself up I will instead treat myself to a bowl of diced fresh pear and apple with my morning coffee... and then I will head out to the store to buy some of that green tea peach mango metabolism booster Crystal light...

whether it is the difference or not really isn't the point...
It's what my brain thinks is the secret to my weight loss success

And who am I to argue with my brain?

Better Late Than Never?

Officially, I have been on the SENSA plan for 4 weeks.

In reality?

No, I have not.

I have been sick for the past 2 weeks with the worst FLU in the history of the world.

Okay, the worst FLU in my history of the world.

So, I did use my Sprinkles on everything I ate while sick, on the sofa, feeling like I was hacking up a lung or dying, or both... For 2 WEEKS...

But I wasn't really hungry so I didn't eat much.

I did drink 6 quarts of water a day.
I did suck on Ricola and Hall's cough drops like candy.
I did take cold and flu medicine.

The problem was that I was dehydrated anyway... what with the cold medicine sucking the moisture out of me AND the fever that lasted for 6 days...

Still I have not gained anything so...

Officially I am beginning week 4.
Un-officially I am beginning week 2...
I'm just gonna pretend that the last 2 weeks didn't happen... ( I think it's better for my sanity this way)

Yes, they were that awful.
No, I'm not kidding....

Don't forget to drink your water...
And take some VITAMIN C while you're at it...

It could be the difference between living your life and laying on the sofa with the FLU...

Guess I shoulda taken some VITAMIN C tabs, ya think?

Sensa Day 10.... Feeling Thinnish?

Me!!!

No, that's not exactly true.
I am not counting the days on Sensa, but more like counting the days of increased water and decreased junk food consumption.

Which is pretty much what this is boiling down to.

I have been using my sprinkles on everything- even the butter cookies- that I have eaten over the last week and a half.

Yes, I said butter cookies.
And a piece of carrot cake on my birthday.
And a piece yesterday instead of dinner.

But I didn't skip dinner so much as I ate it at lunch instead so that I would not eat a heavy meal then head right to bed for an evening nap before work.

I have found that :
1)   I am much thirstier than I usually am in the middle of winter.
2)   I am craving fruit and veggies instead of breads and dairy products...very different for me I have to say.
3)   Some days I feel bloated but most days I feel 'thinnish'... and if it isn't a real word, it is now!

So, I will continue my Sprinkling ways and drinking Crystal Light and water...

And I'll let you know on Monday how I manage to resist the temptations of the weekend ...
Cake, cake and more cake are in my immediate future... but I will not give in !!!

Until next time...

Day 2 and a half...

I originally intended to only post on Mondays.

Since I started this whole investigative experiment into the world of Sprinkles on a Monday it seemed like a good idea.

But now that I have been using Sprinkles for almost 3 whole days I thought I should post a little something about how it's going so...

Here goes:

It's going good.

Yep. That's it.

You sprinkle the Sprinkles on your food.

Then you eat it.

So far I have eaten what I would normally eat.

Yesterday I had a chicken salad sandwich for lunch.

Wheat thins and humuus and popcorn for snacks.

Dinner was ... wait I know this.... Crap, I cannot for the life of me remember what I had for dinner last night.

No matter...

Anyway, my point is that I am eating the foods I always eat, whether I remember them or not apparently, and I have actually lost weight already.

I know.

I SAID I was going to post my official stuff on Mondays so...

UNofficially I have lost 2 pounds since starting this journey on Monday.

The big tip of the week is... DRINK WATER! 

8-8 oz glasses a day is the target but really? 

Don't start obsessing about how many glasses you've had.

Just get a 32 ounce reusable bottle and fill it up... twice.

That's 32 ounces x 2 which is .... Voila' 64 ounces 

Which is exactly the total of 8-8 oz glasses.

Isn't counting to 2 so much easier than counting to 8?

Your Welcome.

Mind that First Step... It's a Doozy!

Today is January 3, 2011.

Yes Sirree Bob! It's a new year and I think it's going to be a good one...
I hope.
At least I mean I think for me and mine it will be a good year...

To reach that end I have begun a new weight loss program, jumping in with both feet first!

No groaning allowed.... this one is different.
And NEW NEW NEW!

It's called Sensa and seems to be pretty idiot proof - so I should be able to stick to it, right?
Right!

I bought the product online at Trysensa.com.
There was a special trial offer so I thought to myself, "Self? What the heck!"

You get a starter kit with a 2-month supply of the Sensa tastants. From this point forward I will call them Sprinkles.

There are 2 containers of Sprinkles for each month. One for home and one for your purse, briefcase, coat pocket, whichever suits your life style so that you can take your Sensa with you where ever you roam.

There are 2 shakers on the container - one says SWEET, the other SALTY.
As you might imagine, you shake the SWEET on sweet foods and the SALTY on salty foods.
On all foods, all day, every day.

I started by reading the material enclosed in the kit. Weighed myself then got Mr. Me to take my BEFORE photo. I may, or may not, include it on this blog today... yes, it's just that awful!

My starting stats are as follows:
Age: 45 ( in 8 days)
Ht:  5-5.5 in
Wt: 216

Goal Wt: 145
Desired Time to goal: June 17, 2011 ( Me and Mr. Me's 15th wedding anniversary)

I logged onto the Sensa site and created my profile- the instructions were in the packet received and it was easy-peasy, a piece of cake!
Then I scouted out some of the forums and groups. Even joined one or 2.
Then I took advantage of the tools... meal planner, activity and fitness planner, journals and articles to set up a simple meal plan for this week starting with breakfast today.

I added and deleted a few things to fit what I like and what is currently in the fridgidaire and pantry and Voila'! I have a meal plan complete with the nutritional breakdown per meal item and per meal.
Only problem is... I need 1200-1700 calories per day with 35-ish grams of fat and my daily meal plan for today topped out at 950 calories and 25-ish grams of fat. Not so good since you have to eat enough to fuel your basic needs in order to keep your body from hoarding... you know for a rainy day or a famine or starvation diet.

My biggest problem is that I am never hungry so I am not sure how this Sensa program will work for me.

I mean, I was kicked out, well, asked to leave, Weight Watchers because I just never could make myself eat enough points to lose more than 9 pounds in 6 months so... I was not a very good example of their program at all.

But I will work with the meal planner to make meals that are appealing to me and meet my daily requirements. It just might take me a little while, a few days, weeks.... But I will prevail!

So begins my Journey to Me... the real me.
The one I see in my mind's eye.

Until then, please when you think of me, Color Me Thin....
preferrably with an Orange crayon.